1. It's okay to go to bed angry.

A list of things I've learned over 24 years with my guy

I met my husband in August of 2000 and we were quickly monogamous and living together. 24 years later and even we aren’t sure what we did so right.

My husband and I at Wizard World St. Louis a handful of years ago.

Of course my overthinking brain DOES wonder if we’re even doing it right: Did I just trick him into loving me this entire time??? But I digress…

I decided I’d make a list; Lists are fun! Yay!

This list is from the view of a cis woman married monogamously to a cis man with choices to cohabitate and coparent. I want to clearly express that I am not a relationship coach or expert nor am I seeking a relationship coach or expert. I am simply sharing some bits and bops from my own experiences.

Without further ado…

Okay, just one more ado | This was from our early years.

A list of things I've learned over 24 years with my guy

1. It’s okay to go to bed angry, but always go to bed at home.
   Sometimes we need a nap.

2. Fighting is normal and natural.
   Is it the most healthy? I’m not the expert, don’t ask me. But people fight in all sorts of relationships — with our parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, neighbors… the list goes on. Arguments and disagreements, even when heated, are a natural human reaction. Being mad or having someone mad at you does NOT mean there’s a lack of love.
   *Anger does not come with abuse by default.

3. Use 2 blankets on the bed, at least.

4. Make time for one another.
   Even if it’s just to coexist in the same space doing your own thing.

5. Go to the doctor.
   Get your check ups done. Consider therapy. Get your diagnoses.
   Focus on your health because your partner wants you to live forever, too.

6. We are the roots of our family tree.
   All that generational trauma, all that present-day toxicity? Not in our garden.
   Take steps to be better than those before, even if those before were great.

7. Be trustworthy.
   Trusting others is easier when you’re trustworthy. Or it should be. See number 6.

8. Be silly together.
   You can’t plan the best memories, they just sorta happen.

I could go on, but I just don’t want to.

9. Do what you want, when you can.
   There’s plenty of times you don’t have as much freedom and choice as you’d like.

Eva Tianne & husband, Ken

10. Aim for happiness & keep going.

Thank you so much for following along on my journey.
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